I Threw Out My Scale: How One Woman Found Freedom


















I stood nervously in front of my father so he could get a better look at me. He said I should go put on some black jeans so my ass woudn‘t look so fat. I changed right away because a fourteen year old girl needs to make her daddy happy. She also needs to look thin enough to walk around in the world okay. I would do what I could. Through the years sometimes I was skinny, sometimes I was fat, always I was insecure and angry. This went on until I was in my late thirties.

Finally I got sick of putting my life on hold while I mostly failed at trying to keep my weight down. There were other things I wanted to do besides being fixated on fat. I wanted to be happy and my body obsession made me utterly unhappy. It just never delivered. I had to make a change and since my anger seemed to be right up front screaming at me, I gave it a chance to speak. It told me I needed to find a new way to treat myself and a new way to think about my body. It reminded me how I longed to be my full female self, someone who was so much more than breasts and curves and genitals and fat. I wanted to come on up through my body and be with no appologies.

I had to be brave and try new ways of being. For example, in the morning I forced myself to get ready in the buff. I looked at my naked body in the mirror and I mean I really got a good look. I jiggled and stretched and bent over and even looked at the side rolls. I watched my muscles move beneath my skin. I noted my favorite and least favorite body parts. I practiced the habit of petting my thighs and other body parts and thanking them out loud for serving me. The more I said it, the more I started to believe it. When I ate too much and felt a stomach ache I apologized to my stomach for making it sick. I even began to allow my body to be natural in bed with my husband. I let my breasts fall and flap and I didn’t try to keep myself in my best posture. I relaxed and let my naturally beautiful body be. My husband has always been wonderfully accepting of my body. Why couldn’t I be? It felt heavenly even if I did feel shy. My body was so happy and that made the initial embarassment totally worth it. The act of treating my body with respect and love was freeing the inside me too. What a wonderful little trick!

Still, a father can have a powerful effect, and even after all my changes I found myself practically paralyzed with panic as we pulled into my dad‘s driveway. He hadn’t seen me since I’d lost all the weight. Would he be happy with me? We walked in the door and he came up to me and gave me a great big hug and rubbed my back and said “Skinny Vicky!” To my surprise my father’s comment angered me. It didn’t feel good at all because why is it so damned important to you dad? I wasn’t going to let him oppress and suffocate me any longer. Inwardly I rejected his “compliment.” I don’t know what sank into me but from that moment on I never needed my fathers’ approval again. After I got home from that trip I threw out my scale. I didn’t want to live by “the number” anymore. I wanted to continue creating new ways of living. I wanted to ask new questions that were about my overall health and happiness. How did I feel in my body? Could I move comfortably? Could I do the things I wanted to do? Was I relaxed in myself? If I wasn’t, what could I do to change that? Change became an opportunity instead of a demand. Feeling good truly became more important than looking good.

Thanks to my father I now have the freedom to ask any question I please. I can also stop asking questions like, “What kind of sick person talks to themselves and swears compulsively and has addictions and takes Paxil?” I can throw that scale away too! Why can’t I? I can throw it away if I want to. I don’t’ have to put myself into an inferior category of humanity. Instead I can say, “Look world, this is me just as I am.” I am a woman. Watch me shine! Watch me not shine! I will walk on the Earth regardless of what anyone thinks of me. People can wish me to be whomever they like. I won’t hear them and I will walk around and do what I like. I will strut and skip. I will day dream. I will lay in my hammock and read for a while. I will eat pepperoni with cheese and crackers and spend hours writing. I will go dancing! I might even take a nap. Why not? I don’t have to ask daddy anymore… I can ask myself.
 Written By Victoria Lee

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Relaxation: Important For Both Body and Mind

There’s no escaping the occasional stressful situation but when stress is a regular companion, it takes its toll on our bodies and our minds. Studies show that stress is a major contributor to many health issues so it’s important that we learn to relax for our own good.

When we are stressed our system is on high alert. Our bodies respond with adrenaline. Our nerves send messages to every organ in the body. Our heart rate increases. Breathing becomes shallow and fast. Our blood pressure goes up. Eventually, damage is done.

There are many benefits to learning to relax…


The Following Can Be Improved With Regular Relaxation:
  • Blood pressure
  • Risk of stroke
  • Muscle blood flow
  • Heart rate
  • Breathing rate
  • Muscle tension
  • Immunity
  • Memory
  • Asthma, emphysema, COAD
  • Skin (acne, eczema, dermatitis, psoriasis, etc)
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis
  • Tension headaches and migraines
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Raynaud’s syndrome
  • Diabetes
  • Herpes simplex
  • Multiple Sclerosis
  • Chronic pain


Other Benefits Include:
  • Emotional
  • Levels emotions
  • Elevates mood
  • Improves outlook
  • Improves decision making
  • Improves sleep
  • Helps clear skin (acne, eczema, dermatitis, psoriasis, etc)
  • Helps relieve depression and anxiety
  • Energizes
  • Lowers cortisol levels


This is why relaxation is extremely important for the health of both body and mind.

There are many ways to relax and what works best will depend on each individual. Some will find more relief from a non-physical relaxation technique while others will benefit most from a more physical approach. The most important thing is that you do not allow what is stressing you to enter your mind when you take time to relax.


Here are some non-physical ways to help you relax:


Here are some physical ways to help you relax:
  • Yoga
  • Tai chi
  • Walk
  • Sex
  • Bike ride
  • Jog
  • Laugh and play

In addition to taking time to relax is learning to manage stress. The first step is identifying the cause. The second step is learning to deal with that cause in a productive way.

  • Ask for help when you need it.
  • Talk out your problems with a trusted friend or therapist.
  • Learn to say “no” so you don’t become overwhelmed
  • Prioritize
  • Let go of what cannot be changed
  • Be proactive. Address what you can before they become (more) stressful
  • Schedule time to deal with difficult issues and only deal with them on those days (such as finances).

Schedule time to relax. Learn to relax in times of stress.
With all that we deal with on a day to day basis it is so important that we take care of ourselves.


Would you like to share your favorite stress remedy? Please share them in the comment section below. 




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