Showing posts with label bulimia poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bulimia poetry. Show all posts

Eating Disorder Poetry: Eat, Please Eat.























Eat
Please eat
Let your body live
I know your mind is messy
I know the scale is hurting you        
Just eat
Eat
Let your self love
I know it feels like the end
I know you want to see bones
Eat ok?
Please just eat
Your bones will still be there
I promise they won't be crushed
I promise the fat won't hurt you
Eat
Put the food in
Let yourself smile again
Let yourself laugh
Stop starving
Eat
Deep down there is a little girl
She grew up way too fast
Let her out
Eat
She is starving
Under the fragile bones         
Under the bruises
Please eat
Eat
She needs you
You see her in pictures and dreams
She doesn't care what size her hips are
Eat
Pick up the fork
Let yourself fight
Let yourself have dreams
Eat     
Keep it down
Fight to live
Fight to follow your dreams
Fight for the self that wants to live
Let go
Eat
Written by Aria

Reader submission

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picsourcehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/octarina8/8182017513/

Silent Scream: Eating Disorders Poetry


















Warning: Poem may be triggering

Silent Scream

She’s convinced herself she can’t be loved
So she starves herself away
Ana promised to be her friend
And now she’s here to stay.

Each night she stands before the mirror
And runs her hand along the bones
You’re worthless and disgusting
The voice inside her drones.

Ana made her a deal
A way out of what others thought
A way to escape reality
For that’s what she truly sought.

The only thing she grew to care for
Was the counting in her head
Should no one bother saving her
Soon she will be dead.

It started out as a way for control
But now Ana stole that away
The number flashing on the scale
Controls every moment of everyday.

She wishes for someone to save her
From this never-ending hell
She’s tried to silence the voice in her head
But Ana just starts to yell.

Eyes closed tightly to shut out the world
She prays to disappear
A voice unheard, unheeded
A scream no one can hear.
By: Maggie Saunders

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picsource: http://www.flickr.com/photos/skeletalmess/5805022098/

Bad Apple: Eating Disorders Poetry






















Warning: Poem may be triggering

Bad Apple
 
This poem is not about how I beat anorexia.
I wish I could write that poem
I always liked clean breaks and happy endings
But this is not a happy ending.
This is real.
 
I’ve done what I can
keeping up appearances
The good girl
The smart one
I’ve done a damn good job, don’t you think?
And I know you want your little girl back
And I wish I could give you that too.
 
But I am not a bad apple
You can’t cut out the rotten bits
This is not burnt toast
You can’t scrape this off
Or hide it with butter
Or throw it away and make a new slice
This is not a cherry pit
You can’t just eat around it
There are no devils or angels fighting on my shoulders
I am the devil
I’m the angel too.
 
All I can do is swallow this bad apple whole
Savor it bite by mushy brown bite
And maybe one day I’ll be just like I used to be
And maybe I won’t
So do you want a taste or not?
 
by: Anonymous 
 

 
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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/laureenp/5598717402/in/photostream/

Relapse: An Eating Disorders Poem























Relapse

I drove you away. You’ve returned to define my body, my soul;

anywhere I go you follow, burrowed deep within a pocket of my genes.

Stop pretending to be my friend, I am your captive, helplessly watching

you force me to be lite as I am surrounded by darkness.


Trapped in this self-imposed desert of malnutrition

I return to the god damn scale; my hands shaking,

hair falling out, heart wanting to give way.

What have you done? Why must you strike again?


The doctors say I need more: calories, rest, peace.

Doctors are not what I need, with their facts and figures:

I know the equation, I’ve seen the answer.

I don’t want the fancy treatments,

just someone (other than you) to hold my hand.

By: Genevieve Morrow


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.

In Case: Eating Disorders Poetry




















In case nobody’s told you, and in case you haven’t heard.
I’m trapped inside this limbo, teetering on the verge.
In case I get too scared, and in case I lose all nerve.
In case I lose myself trying to erase all of my curves.

In case one day I vanish, disappear into the air.
In case the day arrives as if I was never there.
In case one day this plan works, and no longer can you see.
In case one day I finish in erasing all of me.

In case I cannot beat this, and this letter’s all you find.
In case one day ed wins in taking hold of heart and mind.
In case one day I cannot fight, for the war is far too great.
In case I can no longer hide from this, my hopeless fate

And when the day “in cases” come and I am ash upon the wind.
The eulogy they speak for me won’t talk of fat or thin.
Now the rhythmic words in which I write may read like fairy tales.
But know I gave both life and limb for the numbers on a scale

By  Erin M. Akers


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++

Eating Disorders Poetry: Untitled























I lie.
I lie about what I’m doing, where I’m going, and what I just ate.

I steal.
I steal food when I can’t starve myself any longer, the scale that I’m prohibited to use, and my mom’s trust, which she thinks is so strong.

I hide.
I hide my discoloring nails, my dirty deeds, and my shrinking body.

I believe.
I believe that I’m ugly, that I’m not skinny enough, and that everyone hates me.

I regret.
I regret that I’ve betrayed the ones who love me the most, that I’ve harmed my body in ways unimaginable, and that I’ve stopped caring about the most important things in life.

I’m trying.
I’m trying to get better, to resist temptation, and to learn to love myself. 

by:Jasmine Pickering

 
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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/mediafury/4055659192/in/photostream/

Progress: Eating Disorders Poetry























warning: Poem may be triggering

PROGRESS

Brain dying
Skin freezing
Lips lying
Heart seizing

Hair falling
Body aching
Ana calling
I’m breaking

Voice shrieking
Insides tearing
Tears streaking
Soul baring

Ana slowing
Intense grieving
People knowing
No deceiving

Brain healing
Smile forming
Heart feeling
Skin warming

Ana whining
Body loving
Hair shining
I’m recovering

Written by: Jessica of Periwinkle Paradise

*Check out Jessica's recovery / awareness jewelery,  Periwinkle Paradise, on Etsy.

Jessica says: 10% of the purchase price of ALL Periwinkle AND Dragonfly items AND Art pieces will be donated to NEDA - the National Eating Disorders Association - the largest National non-profit for eating disorder awareness. I look forward to raising awareness about eating disorders and helping those in need through this line of Periwinkle/Dragonfly Pieces and Recovery Art and to sharing these and all of my other pieces of jewelry with you!

Please see sidebar menu for more eating disorders and body image poetry and writings.

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Eating Disorders Poetry: My Declaration of Independence























This is my declaration of independence...

from the voice that never lets me rest or says what I do or who I am is never good enough.

from the sickness that takes doing anything productive as an "opportunity" NOT to eat.

from the disease that tricks, not just my mind, but my body into pushing beyond the line of healthy, sane excersize.

from the disorder that brings my turmoil unto my family unnecessarily and forces it's rules onto those I live with; to waste money on food I will inevitably abuse or deprive them of foods they enjoy because they trigger binges for me.

from the idea that I can't deal with the downfalls, relationships, rejections, or losses in my life.

from the voice that distorts the real image of my body, my thoughts, and my soul,

or says I need to eat more then physically refuse it,

eat less and then abuse it,

or eat nothing until hunger and fullness are one in the same.

No more will I feel bad, guilty, or trapped for nourishing my body.

No more will I let it distort who I am or what I see with my eyes.

No more will I let it suck the life from me, the freedom to live how I want to.

No more will I let it take my confidence, what makes me truly beautiful, MY beliefs.

No more will I be afraid to simply go grocery shopping for my family or myself.

No more will I let it destroy me, mentally and physically.

No more will I believe that no one could ever love me or that I could never LOVE MYSELF.

No more will I listen to the negative spin on a compliment.

No more will I surround myself with people who fuel this abusive boyfriend in my head.

No more will I feel bad for eating "too much".

No more will I be afraid to eat.
No more.

by: Alex Buchwald




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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulin-a/3941549009/in/photostream/

Girl Standing In Front Of The Mirror: Eating Disorder Poetry


*warning: poem may be triggering

Girl Standing in Front of the Mirror

Collarbones jutted out,
Every rib defined against the starving flesh
Eyes hollow, bloodshot
Wrists cocked, trying to defy the laws of nature,
To put her fingers around her waist
Hipbones sharp as a raven’s beak
Legs thin as twigs, ready to snap
Her arms never small enough
Her cheekbones never prominent enough
Girl standing in front of the mirror,
Inching her hollow eyes over ever flaw, every imperfection
No matter the countless gags, the starvation, the exercise,
She is never perfect
Girl standing in front of the mirror,
Her hollow eyes tell it all:
Insecurity, Distortion, Desperation
Girl standing in front of the mirror,
Slowly dying in her perception of beauty and perfection

Written by: SC

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picsource: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cloudninex/4140647605/sizes/l/in/photostream/

Eating Disorders Poetry: Done























Done

I don't want you in my life
I don't want you in my head
You play sick mind tricks on me
While I lay awake in bed

You convince me that I'm ugly
That I'm too fat to go outside
You want me to be skinny
Even if it causes me to die

I can see through your lies now
I won't entertain your attacks
I'm not saying that it's easy
But I'm never looking back

I won't let you control me
Not like you did before
I'll decide what's right for me
And your insults will go ignored

Written by: Jessica of Periwinkle Paradise

*Check out Jessica's recovery / awareness jewelery,  Periwinkle Paradise, on Etsy.
Jessica says: 10% of the purchase price of ALL Periwinkle AND Dragonfly items AND Art pieces will be donated to NEDA - the National Eating Disorders Association - the largest National non-profit for eating disorder awareness. I look forward to raising awareness about eating disorders and helping those in need through this line of Periwinkle/Dragonfly Pieces and Recovery Art and to sharing these and all of my other pieces of jewelry with you!

Please see sidebar menu for more eating disorders and body image poetry and writings. 
Be featured on Weighing The Facts


picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/charamelody/4844302605/in/photostream/

Spotlight: Eating Disorders Poetry



Spotlight

You thought you’d done it,
And pushed me off stage,
You thought you’d beaten me,
And locked this cage.

I know you’ve been there. Watching,
Waiting for my fall,
I’ve heard you sometimes,
Singing your tempting call.

Your idea of a perfect duet,
Lured me straight in,
You waited for my loneliness,
So your dance could begin.

You knew I’d always heard you,
Always. Such a long time ago,
Your rules were so familiar,
But I was happy with my solo.

You’re the girl I could hear,
Telling me I’m no good,
And the hands that embodied me,
What I shouldn’t eat, what I should.

I’ll give it to you though,
You’ve waited such a long time,
To push me off my stage,
And encapsulate what’s mine.

That’s what you do though,
You wait on the side,
You waited until I was quiet
And stepped in with pride.

My thoughts and your rules,
Take over control,
You’re constant abuse
Dents and damages my soul.

You knew I was unhappy
Dancing this stage on my own,
Your whispers became louder
And your seeds were sewn.

Despite your dance being clear,
I was a fool to believe,
The control was mine,
When you were so near.

Every mirror, every picture,
Every thought, every meal
You’d tell me it’s my fault,
And how I should feel.

As you came a little closer,
I accepted you in,
I welcomed your friendship,
And let your control begin.

You allowed me to rest,
And stop playing my game,
All the things I hated
But had stayed the same.

You showed me your dance,
And sang me your song,
It all looked so perfect,
I must have been wrong.

I felt so guilty,
For keeping you so long,
Waiting side of stage,
Quietly singing your song.

Your dance looked so perfect,
And your song so sweet,
Your rules, my obsessions
Your shoes on my feet.

Having you on stage,
Dancing my dance,
Your rules, your numbers,
Id given you a chance.

You shared my stage,
And followed my steps,
But you stole my light,
And forward you crept.

But enough is enough girl,
I am awakening again,
I can see your faults
And have felt your pain.

Your drugs are wearing off,
And your feet look sore,
I can see you’re struggling
Towards the stage door.

Your control is slipping,
And your time is up,
Your dance is becoming weaker
And the box office is shut.

It’s time for my solo,
My moment to shine,
So tie up your shoes, Ana,
This spotlight is mine.

By Sarah Louise Robertson


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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnpics/469167953/

Eating Disorders Poetry: Pray For Me

 *Warning: Poem may be triggering


Pray For Me

this isn't one of those poems about recovery
this isn't one of those poems about how beautiful I know I am
this isn't one of those poems about how I overcame the odds
this is one of those poems about how I didn't
I spent my life trying to fit into this picture
Aryan brothers and sisters standing
5 foot 6
115 pounds
beautiful
I am twenty years old and I long for the androgyny of adolescence
I wish I could will away the curves on these hips
the prominent bulges of double D tits
and pants size weighing in the double digits
I know I was meant to be "curvy"
my body was built to wield the twists and turns of a full-figure woman
and standing at 5 foot 3
weighing 173 pounds
I look every bit the plus size woman
that was meant to reside in this skin
but god
I don't want it
bless another with this body so vivacious
and give me something devoid of interest
I want flat-chested brilliance and a size two waist
I used to be beautiful, you know
a long time ago, when I gave up living
I starved myself for just a little feeling
and I guess I did it wrong
because I can never go back
I have to eat now
every bite filled with resentment as I force it past these lips
but I do it because I have to
I look at you and I pray to god that I can one day stop
stop the madness reeling inside me that prays for just a little death
just a little decay
a taste of the impossible
for these improbable lips
screaming for mercy and begging forgiveness
I want to be healthy for you
but some days it's hard to breathe
cold sweats cover these sheets as you slumber away
pretending that I'm okay
some days it bothers me how you don't seem to notice
but other days
I'm glad you can't watch me fall
it's selfish, the way I torture myself
because I know I drag you with me
but I've spent a lifetime tearing myself down
and I'm not sure I know how to stop
but for you, baby
I'm willing to try
throw myself into an empty sea
where empathy used to live
and I'll wait for my salvation
By Alana Rosen

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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/milkthin/4419662652/

Recovery Poetry: I Lie Still, Listening

I Lie Still, Listening

I woke
and in the barely-there light of the new day
I felt it
a faint tug
a softly whispered promise
and taken with the newness of it
I lie still, listening

sweet of words
warmed with hope
and tender encouragement
it spoke to me
of possibilities
and self-love
and recovery

gently it coaxed
comforting and strong
and in the barely-there light of the new day
I listened
to a softly whispered promise
and finally...

I believed.

written by: Emmy M.





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Share Your Eating Disorders & Body Image Poetry & Writings

Would you like to feature your eating disorder and/or body image poetry or writings on Weighing The Facts? 

Writing is a very powerful tool for many with Eating Disorders and an excellent way for others to relate and be inspired. Do you have a poem(s) and/or writing(s) about your struggles, experiences, or recovery with your Eating Disorder and/or Body Image that you'd like to share with others? Weighing The Facts would like to feature your writing here so that others can relate, find support, and encouragement towards recovery.

Participation may be anonymous or credited, whichever you feel comfortable with. Poems/writings must be your own work. If you're interested in participating please contact me at Mrsmenopausal@yahoo.com.

Thank you.
Mrs. M
 

*Check out the wonderful poetry and writings of those who have shared on Weighing The Facts. They can be found in the sidebar drop down menu "submissions."

pic source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/jetheriot/5345090302/

Child Of God: Eating Disorders Poetry


Child Of God

Whats wrong with this child that wanders alone
So lost in the dark and frightened
Who scared this beautiful child of God
And put her in the dark that she hides in
What is this child of God looking for
Often does she wonder
Answers to questions that she can’t find
Or to scared to want the answers
Who hurt this beautiful child of God
Does she hurt herself
By binging and purging and starving herself
What will it take to heal this child of God
Often does she wonder
The answers lies within the child of God
She has all the answers.
by: Jaquita King



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picture sourcehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/alexreyes/2225734510/

I Am Not Cut From A Pattern: Eating Disorders Poetry



I am not my heavy thighs
nor the roundness of my face

I am not the slender length of my fingers
nor the graceful curve of my neck

I am not defined by the sum of my physical parts
for I am not my body

I am not cut from a pattern
nor molded from clay

I am creative expression
and wondrous exploration

I am quick wit
and generous smiles

I am loving
and steadfast determination

I am indelible spirit
glorious and unique

I am what no one else can be
simply and brilliantly...
 me

by: Emmy M



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 picture source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jmpznz/3921977272/

Dearest Body; I Promise To Keep Mending The Damage I've Done.



Dearest Body,

O boy have we been through a lot;
That today you deserve to be put on the spot.
Like a machine you relentlessly work and you work,
That I owe you this Ode to My Body as a sense of artwork!
So here’s to the gift of my hard working body,
Without you I’d be plainly, literally, and completely a nobody!

Here’s to the gift of my long, strawberry blonde hair
People tell me they want it, that it’s beauty so rare!
I remember when I was little I would take every curl
I’d wrap them around my fingers and I’d twirl and I’d twirl.
Later I’d style you for dance and for cheer
But inside my self-confidence was so insincere.
I caused you to come out in bunches in my brush
The reality of losing you was a detrimental crush!
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my head and my neck
My feeding and eating habits made you completely a wreck.
You give me a place to hang my cross
It is my constant and without it I’d be at a loss!
Inside is my brain with thoughts so, so clear
I could solve any problem without uncertainty and fear,
But I starved you of the nutrients and vitamins you desperately need
I could not even think, I must concede.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my big, bright blue eyes
People always said you had it in you to mesmerize.
You introduced me to Harry Potter, Disney, and Twilight,
You would see something and my imagination would ignite.
Starving myself caused clear vision to severely decline,
You lost your sparkle and twinkle and ability to shine.
But I’ll care for you now, I need you for life
So I can look into my husband’s eyes the day I become his wife.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my little button nose
From my mom’s scent, to the smell of sunscreen, Hawaii, and Disneyland I propose
You allow me to enjoy all the different, unique smells
They are varied and wonderful and I’m easily compelled
To thank the Lord I’ve chosen to live
And I hope that you’ll find a way to forgive
All the mistakes I foolishly made
Trying to be a part of a fake, false masquerade.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my wiggly, little ears
You help me to hear so very loud and clear.
You let me hear the sweet sound of my mom’s embracing voice,
And the heavenly songs in my church to rejoice.
You capture the powerful sounds of Phantom, Wicked, and more,
You let me hear the cries, cheers, raindrops, ocean, and all sounds galore,
And when I found I needed a new way to cope
You help me to listen to my counselors who gave me new hope.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my mouth and my tongue
You have both taken care of me since I was very young.
As a child I simply saw food, and naturally ate,
Food caused me no fear, it was not something to hate.
You allow me to smile, laugh, and kiss,
But limiting food intake caused the joy to be missed.
So now I’m determined to savor and to eat
All the foods that you love from spaghetti to even a treat.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my very straight teeth,
And the gums that are found right there underneath.
I made you crooked when I sucked both my thumbs,
But we got through years of surgeries and braces, we both thought we’d never overcome.
People always tell me they like my sweet smile
Like it’s a part of my very own special style.
Yet I caused you to whither till you bled and felt pain,
Malnutrition was the cause which I could not contain.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, dancer’s arms,
When dancing they made my movements full of charm.
You allow me to cheer and take in a warm hug,
Family and friends made me feel nice and strong.
But lack of nutrition caused you to become weak,
And my hopes for happiness became extremely bleak.
You need energy to dance, swim, and shop
To keep my strong hugs coming and to never, ever stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two, pretty hands
You allow me to stick to all of my plans,
To stay very safe when crossing the street,
When shopping with mom or to go trick-or-treat.
My mom and dad would tightly hold on and protect me from harm,
Hand-in-hand, there was never any need for alarm.
I thank you for holding on in dance, church, and on rides at Disneyland;
I always knew safety would be close at hand.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my long, lady fingers
You allow me to text and answer my phone’s funny ringer.
You help me to drive and tie my shoes,
And to help on vacations while my dad barbeques.
But by restricting my food I made you cramp and shake,
My knuckles would throb, tingle, and ache.
But that’s all different now, I have something to declare,
I promise to take care of you, on that I pinky swear.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my twenty strong nails,
You make me feel pretty like a young female.
You’ve been pink, you’ve been blue, and occasionally even black,
Glitter and designs are what I see when I often flashback.
But lack of calories made you brittle and dry,
You’d crack and you’d bleed and I’d cry and I’d cry.
Feeding you now has helped me to fix
All the problems you had, I know I must not restrict.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my constant beating heart,
Without you healthy my whole life would completely fall apart.
You keep my blood moving, you help me to breathe air,
If you don’t have health, I don’t even have a prayer.
By limiting my food, you worked harder than you should
It finally took passing out till I really understood.
But I realize now and promise to care
For with the health of my heart, my love I can easily share.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my life-giving blood,
You help me each day as you constantly flood
My body with oxygen and nutrients and more
That kept me healthy and helped me soar,
But I weakened my body and made your job hard
That even my liver became fatally scarred.
In the hospital they took you by gallons it seemed
Until the tests came out better and made home not such a dream.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my stomach so tough,
You’d talk and you’d talk when I didn’t eat enough.
I tried not to listen, and push you out of my head,
And allow the negative thoughts quickly to spread.
Now you have shrunk, and it’s harder to eat,
but I’m committed to prove this disorder I can beat.
I’m realizing now, I can eat without fear,
And not worry that people will see you and wrongly jeer.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my ever-repairing liver,
The damage I did to you makes me quiver and shiver.
You balance my body and filter my blood,
When I think of how I hurt you my tears begin to flood
By starving myself, my body consumed you,
Saving my life meant taking a complete new avenue.
By refeeding right now, my enzyme count quickly drops,
Saving you saves my life, and I know this wont stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two tiny kidneys,
You filter my blood so I’m not ill at ease.
Keeping you healthy keeps me in the game,
But the way I did treat you fills me with shame.
Without the correct calories you worked overtime;
Recovery was a mountain I knew I’d must climb,
But I’m committed to eat well and do what I must,
I need you to know, in me you can trust.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of two strong, dancer’s legs and feet,
You made it possible to dance to every beat.
You walked me to school day in and day out,
Tired and sore while my muscles would shout.
You help me to get back on the grand stage for each dance,
For each graceful pliae and every awe inspiring stance.
Until my lack of food caused you to collapse,
I knew it was time to do much more than just pray, perhaps.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my numerous muscles and joints,
I’d like to get quickly right to the point.
You help me to move and get me to where I need to go;
You help me to travel to and fro.
I did not feed you with all that you need;
You lost out on all complete accuracy and speed.
But I promise to stick to the food plan I’ve made;
I know you are strong, and I’ll get repaid.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two hundred, six bones,
You have helped me to stand tall as I have grown;
You give me my posture and define my shape;
You allow my clothes to properly drape.
I foolishly deprived you of the calcium you need,
I sure did put my life in danger, this is surely indeed.
I’m feeding you now, I’m well on my way,
Osteoporosis will never be a part of my day.­
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, resilient skin,
You hold extreme softness and toughness within.
You’re the home to every blessed angel kiss,
And the keeper of my tattoo that brings me extreme bliss.
In the hospital you got poked hour by hour,
And held the painful I.V. that made me cower.
The goosebumps that came on a body like mine,
Should have been seen as a warning sign.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

So thank you again for never giving up
For working so hard, performing and never about to ever erupt.
You have stayed with me no matter my thoughtlessness to you
You have continued to function as I daily get a clue.
I love you, I’ll care for you, I’ll continue refeeding;
With every success we will make, we are one step closer to defeating
this deadly disorder and sick way of mind,
one day, I know it’s close, we will definitely put behind!

Love,
Me

Written by: Emily Woodhouse


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Morning Ritual: Eating Disorder and Body Image Poetry



I brush my teeth
head dipped
staring at
the toothpaste trail

so that I cannot see you

I fill my head
with humming
a mental tally of chores
counting numbers

to drown out your voice

I sidestep your duplicate
in the hallway
and the bedroom
as I get ready

you whisper of my imperfection

a soft buzz
a glimpse
I pretend I do not hear
I pretend I do not see

.... I pretend I am not her
anonymous




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PURGE: Eating Disorders Poetry



Purge

Pain devours my judgment.
Unsatisfied it consumes my spirit.
My heart lay torn
All the threads of time
Will never make me whole again.

My eyes scream for mercy.
But my shallow breath
Gets caught in my throat-
Choking all that is left of me.

Tears stain battered soul.
As I long for forgiveness
The evil in me strikes.
Naked and bruised
It has finally stolen the last of my strength.

My worn and crippled body waits.
Sweet starvation softens the ache
Until torture rots my veins.
My enemy. Myself.
I beg you to stop.
Let go.

Yet I cling to you.
My disorder- my comfort.
You take me as your victim,
Smirk at my weakness.
Removing my identity until all that remains
is the outline of everything I used to be.

Beautiful. Thin. Free.

Lost and judged
I suffer on my own.
Tainted by obsession
Wounds masked by smiles.
You wouldn’t understand.

Nowhere else to turn, I depend on You.
Always faithful and always present.
Forever linked to me like a bad dream.
Please, God, wake me up.
I’d die to know how life feels.
written by: Anonymous


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Eating Disorder Poetry: TRAPPED



Trapped

My body is trapped in this mind
I try to break free, with fragile arms
No match for the burden of
This madness, sadness
That is heavy
So
Heavy

My mind is trapped in this body
Stagnant thoughts long to break out
To be strong, to step off this painful record
that just won’t
Stop
Spinning

My song is trapped in this mind
Why now does it just sound
Like noise, static. It screeches,
Incessantly, urgently. Where is
My
Voice?

My love is trapped in this body
Somewhere, hiding, beneath this
Cold, callous shell. Oh, it’s real –
Delicate, vulnerable, and trapped
So
Trapped.

Written by: Bethany
of U of I Free People



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